13 Symptoms of Peace Corps Withdrawal

Appeared in the Adirondack Review.

And at the end of his contract
he comes back from the heat
the pulse of the land
the baobab trees, the savannah
the rhythms of the drums—
from the fever dreams of Malawi.

He takes a date to dinner.
There’s a buzzing, he tells her,
a buzzing at dusk, when
darkness settles over the plain:
He’s giving her the
Lonely Earth version.
He can tell she can’t see it.
She drinks her white wine,
Thinking he’s interesting
Hoping he’ll take her home.

Symptom number one:
sleep is never undisturbed.

The dreams start the first night
Waking, barely breathing.
Knowing the need
knowing the hunger
knowing not sleeping
because somewhere
there is famine or
drought or war…

The bed is too soft
The night is too empty
The food is too rich
The people too complacent.
He lays and stares into
the darkness, the throbbing
of a thousand electronic
devices pulsing
in his brain.

Symptom number two:
Before is more real than after.